Footprints in the Hallway

The Website of C.L. Mannarino

Tag: write

Eating with the Fairies

I’m struggling to
how to reach you
How do I make you care?
“You can’t make people love you”—
well, I don’t want
Or maybe I do.
Maybe I want
than you’re able to give.
Certainly more than you’re giving to
more than you gave to
more than you give to
who asks for it.
But not the rest.
Not the ones who don’t
you’re after them, for
stories, or
experiences, or
anything you can
take. Bend. Horde away,
strip of all reality in
your mind.
I can’t actually tell you
You don’t actually
It’s all a game of
leaving everyone else forever
and you,
forever running away.
Maybe that’s why I want you.
Maybe that’s why I’m so angry.
It’s not real.
You’re just a fantasy.
And I have to stop eating
with fairies.

Copyright © 2017 C.L. Mannarino All rights reserved.

Describing Remorseful

When you get angry at someone for disagreeing with you, and you snap at them without thinking, it’s the feeling you’re left with after realizing you were wrong.

It’s the feeling you get while you’re pacing the room, running your hands through your hair, and over your face, trying to figure out what they think of you now, what they’d say if you admitted you were wrong, how long you should wait to say something, and how to make things right again.

When you ask your friends, it’s the heavy feeling that sinks your gut when they point out how out-of-line you were, and the pressure of knowing that you’re going to have to work twice as hard to make up for it.

It’s the terrifying blankness that comes over your mind when you’re coming up with apologies, and nothing seems to ring right. You just can’t get it to fit the situation without making things worse.

When you finally try to just apologize already, it’s the dodgy look they give you, and you realize that they’re no longer sure they can give you feedback when you ask for it.

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